When Is It Time To Leave A Partner With An Addiction Disorder?
Deciding whether to end any relationship is a big decision. However, whether or not to end a partnership due to a loved one’s addiction can seem like an impossible task. Whether they suffer from substance use or drinking problem, when someone is in the throes of addiction, they lose their sense of self. During this time, you may find yourself devoting an enormous time to taking care of your partner, going into financial ruin, running on empty, or enabling (co-dependence) their behavior.
You may also feel a massive sense of guilt and shame because you don’t want to admit the problem to family and friends and the role you’ve played in it. So when do you know when “enough is enough.” Questions to consider when deciding to leave a partner with an alcohol or substance use disorder:
Is your relationship abusive?
Abuse, in any form, is entirely unacceptable. Verbal, emotional, financial, sexual, and physical abuse in a relationship (with addiction or without one) is never acceptable and is dangerous. Get help and get out.
Is your partner trying?
If your spouse is acting as a detriment to your relationship and isn’t actively seeking professional treatment to improve as well as continually relapsing and bailing on programs/therapy – then it may be time to leave. If she or he isn’t ready for sobriety – no solution will work.
Are you living in fear?
Do you find yourself always thinking, “I’m scared if I leave, my partner will be homeless, overdose, or kill themselves”, or “I’m afraid that if I leave, they’ll get better and find someone else.” If these questions keep swirling around, it may be time to consider leaving.
How is your partnership affecting your children?
Has your partner harmed your child(ren) in any way? It can be physical, mental, and emotional. Have they drunk or used in front of your kids? Would your children benefit from you staying together? These questions are tough ones but crucial in evaluating whether or not you should stay together.
Is your life in shambles?
Take inventory of your spiritual, mental or physical health – what does each look like? How’s your job, your relationship with your kids, family, and friends? Have you hit your low trying to work through your partner’s rock bottom?
How long has this been going on?
Has his/her addiction been going on for months? Years? Do they continuously refuse treatment? How long are you willing to wait for this to change to happen – what have you missed out on during this process? You deserve a healthy and fulfilling life.
Answering these questions may help decide if it’s time to leave your partner, but this process is only valid if you are honest with your answers. You may also want to seek help from a therapist who specializes in addiction and relationships.
Addiction, Treatment, and Hope
For some, it may take only one of the above signs to make them leave – others may experience all the above signs and still be unsure of what to do. But remember, you didn’t cause your loved one’s addiction, you can’t fix it, and they need professional treatment. If you or your loved one suffers from a substance use disorder or addiction, get help now. There is no cure for addiction, but treatment is available and there is hope in recovery. Take the first step today and contact us today at 1-833-2DAYLIGHT.